June 30, 2012

MUSE: How Deep is Your Rut?

Having a new space to inhabit - and being single again - is an opportunity to examine my quotidian routine and explore some free-style thinking. This morning, instead of rising and going to my "writing chair", I grabbed my coffee and headed back to bed, book in hand. I used to love spending the morning reading in bed when I was a teenager. Why not now? Why not anything? I've stopped making the bed, I'm wondering why I bother putting stuff away, I'm doing my usual "question everything" routine - which is just another rut for someone like me, who welcomes change.

We establish routine as a form of comfort, out of necessity, and sometimes just to accommodate other people, pets and/or our preferences. But given the chance to start anew, what would you change? What would you cling to? I find myself wandering around some nights, stepping out onto the back balcony to watch the sunset, putting on the radio to listen to classical music, grabbing books off my shelf and leafing through them, looking into my empty fridge, just out of habit. I didn't bring a television with me, which broke me out of my usual evening routine. I'm not sure what to do with my evenings. It's not that I feel lonely, it's more that I feel alone. Untethered.

Life is a great big empty canvas, waiting to be painted. And there are no rules, no lines, no limiting frame of reference. Just wants and needs. Right now, I want to go for a walk, and I need to get some groceries. It's nice to be in the moment, with no routine. But I know it won't last. It's human nature to settle into a pattern.

Some of us get stuck in a rut - the image of a wheel spinning itself deeper and deeper comes to mind. After a while, it gets hard to climb out. In fact, it gets downright scary. You've been in there so long, everything else seems unfamiliar. Sound familiar? Take a baby step and switch up your routine. It's liberating.




2 comments:

  1. I so understand this and welcome you to your new walk on the wild side...enjoy!
    Hugs
    Lynnie v

    ReplyDelete
  2. I SO UNDERSTAND WHERE YOUR COMING FROM, THIS LAST LITTLE WHILE ALL I'VE BEEN DOING IS PURGING STUFF THAT I 'VE HAD FOR SOMETIME. AMAZING WHEN YOU ASK YOURSELF "DO I NEED THIS?" WHAT, WHEN, WHY, WHERE AND HOW, LOL
    ENJOY YOUR NEW SPACE!! FMc.

    ReplyDelete

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